Counting Calories is the Worst!

     "Counting calories leads to failure 95.4% of the time—and often leaves people fatter." - Jonathan Bailor, "The Calorie Myth"

     Getting off your ass to get to the gym, soldiering through that workout video, putting on your shoes for a run you really don't want to do, or saying no to junk food, especially chocolate, is hard enough without including counting calories into the mix.
     So I refuse.
    Granted, I did find success doing this back in 2010, but as you've seen in previous posts, that didn't work long term. Counting calories is just not something I can stick with forever. So I need a different solution.
     Right now I go with the general rule that if it doesn't fit on a small plate, it's too much.
     Maybe I should even invest in one of those portion control plates. That actually really isn't a bad idea.

     But that rule isn't enough. I can fit an entire bag of Pizza Rolls on a small plate if I try hard enough, and that certainly won't help me. I have to be cautious about what I'm eating as well.

     I was reading this article by Jessica Girdwain on Prevention.com about myths regarding calories. One thing she talks about is the myth regarding types of calories. Not all calories are created equal. I can eat 100 calories worth of Pizza Rolls (that's approx. 2-3/4 rolls. You show me one person who can stop at 2-3/4 rolls and I'll show you a dirty rotten liar.) With those 2.75 rolls, you'll get about .10g of protein, .05% Vitamin A, .05% Vitamin C, and .10% Iron, and .0125g of Fiber. I created a modest meal on MyFitnessPal to compare. 1/2 Chicken breast and this cucumber salad I love (Click here for the recipe. I add tomato to mine.). This meal comes out to 107 calories. With it I get 78g of Protein, 87% Vitamin A, 77% Vitamin C, 96% Iron, and 23g Fiber. Plus, it's going to fill me up a lot better then 2.75 Pizza Rolls.

     In Girdwain's article, she takes a clever metaphor from Jonathan Bailor's book "The Calorie Myth" to explain why cutting calories won't solve your problems. 

"What if your plumber came in and said the cure for the clog was to stop using your sink?" It fixed the symptom (the sink’s not going to overflow) but not the cause (what’s causing the clog?). The cause of that clog is—you guessed it—eating poor quality foods that throw your fat-burning, appetite-taming hormones out of whack.

     So, to avoid needing to count calories I need to make sure I'm not eating too much, and make sure my foods are healthy and rich in nutrients. "Quality over Quantity," as Girdwain put it.

     

     Right now that's where my struggle is. I'm on such a strict budget that I can't afford quality food. It's sad how junk food is more affordable than healthy, nutritious food. And people wonder why American is fat.

     Just kidding. No one wonders that.

   On Wednesday I wen't over to Nutrishop to participate in their 6-Week Jump Start Weight Loss Challenge. They have this pretty neat body composition scale that not only measures your weight, but how much weight is on each side of your body, your water weight, fat weight, and muscle weight. They ignore BMI, stating it's outdated and useless, and instead focuses on Percent Body Fat (PBF).

They went over my analysis with me and told me where I need to focus. Right now I'm at 102.1 lbs of body fat. I need to lose 62lbs of body fat. Which would bring me to 174 lbs. Obviously this isn't going to happen in the 6 weeks this contest takes place, but at least I know where to aim. As you can see from my analysis to the right, I have a LOT of work to do.

     So far about 600+ people signed up for this competition, and since I can't get my gym membership until I get my Kootenai Health Badge (in about 2 weeks), I'm going to have to start getting clever at home. If it weren't for the miles deep of snow outside (I swear I'm only exaggerating a little), I'd start running. But I can pretty much guarantee I'd slip and fall on my bony ass.
     Today I went for a walk along Coeur d'Alene Lake Drive. It's absolutely gorgeous there. If you live in the Kootenai area and you haven't run/walked/ridden/driven along Coeur d'Alene Lake Drive, you need to.

     It's even better in the summer. All along the Centennial Trail, there are fitness stops. Bars for pull-ups, monkey bars, balancing bars, benches for stretching, and benches for sitting down and catching your breath. The trail goes on for about 4.8 miles (this is just the Coeur d'Alene Lake Drive portion. The entire Centennial Trail stretches about 61 miles between Spokane, WA and Coeur d'Alene, ID). 

 

     

     If you're having some trouble getting started, like I am, read that article by Jessica Girdwain, if you've got the time, maybe even Jonathan Bailor's book "The Calorie Myth." I know I'd like to check it out. And even if you can't workout for whatever reason, as long as you're moving, it's a good start. You don't want to rush into it anyway. Ease in. Take it slow. That's how you get relationships to last, right?

           

Look the World Straight in the Eye

My first goal (get a job at Kootenai Health) has been fulfilled! I have a new hire appointment on the 10th, then I start general orientation on the 23rd. I'll be getting a $2 raise ($3 if I work weekends), insurance is covered, and I get 22% off my phone bill. I'm hoping with this job I can finally afford my own place.

This job's benefits are going to make it easier to fulfill goal #2 (save $1000). For now it has to go on hold. I had to buy new scrubs since KH requires certain colored scrubs, and I have to buy books for school that starts on Monday. With that and bills, I'm not left with anything to put away. Hopefully I don't don't go over again this pay check.

This job will also help with goal #3 (reach 180lbs by the end of the year). KH offers a discount to Peak Health & Wellness (I'll be able to take the Body & Soul class again, and try running again). I've got two workout buddies, three if I can convince my best friend (who also works at KH) to get her membership back.

Being broke proves challenging when it comes to dieting. I have $70 max to last me 2 weeks. This will mean a lot of repeat meals, and nothing exciting.


Yesterday I went grocery shopping. My Best Friend was with me. She's pretty good with frugal grocery shopping, but mostly I didn't want her to see me buy junk food, so her being there prevented that.
I'm single with no kids, so buying fresh produce usually means it will go bad before I eat it. Frozen foods are a single girl's friend. Maybe not the most healthy, but preservatives have never cause me harm before. Don't get me wrong, I am not promoting preservatives. If I could afford organic fresh produce, I would. For now, I need to work with my very low budget and horrible spending habits.
So today I bought frozen vegetables and chicken for dinners (I have some fish too), bread and crackers for lunches, and sausage and eggs and oatmeal for breakfast. I also have some granola bars for snacks. I may need to go back and get some apples and oranges, for snacks.
Now I have the challenge of sticking to eating just that food and not going out and buying more when I don't feel like cooking (which is all the time).

Hopefully as soon as I fill out my paperwork and get my KH badge I can get my gym membership back. I can't wait to get back to Body&Soul class and Zumba Rave. I'm even eager to try running again on the treadmill.
Monday is the first weigh-in for Nutrishop's Jump Start Challenge. I've gained a lot in the last year. I'm almost to where I was in High School (my peak weight). Bright side? It's a lot easier to lose weight the more you weigh. So, I have a better chance of getting 1st place. Granted, I doubt I'll be the only obese one there.

Goals #1 is complete, #2 is well underway. #3 is going to take some time. Hopefully KH makes it easier to put money away. So far so good on #4 and #5, and I purchased a book titled "Outlining your Novel Workbook" by K.M. Weiland to help get me going on #6. It's similar to another book I use called "Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook" by Donald J Maas, except this one is directed more towards the beginning stages ($3.99 on Amazon Kindle). School starts next week. I dropped two classes so I could afford books, so that should free up some time to work on my novel. I'm still getting the classes I want to be done with out of the way (math and speech).

It's been a rough start to the year, depression is kicking my ass, but things are looking up.


Best of luck on your goals. Don't let the bad times get you down.

"Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye." - Helen Keller

The Truth About Depression

I want to talk about depression for a minute.

Depression is so hard to talk about. Those unfortunate enough to experience it might be too afraid or too ashamed to tell anyone. I can't really speak for them. I'm not an expert. I only know my own experiences.

If you have never gone through depression, please read. If you have, or currently are, please read.

This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions—and it's only Wednesday! The thing about depression is that when we get bad news, however significant or insignificant, it’s magnified. I had to make some adjustments to my budget that left me with no extra money, and barely enough to feed myself. This devastated me. I felt hopeless as useless. I started thinking thoughts that I'll never speak of out loud. Scary thoughts. I'm sure you can guess what kind of thoughts they were. All because my financial situation changed slightly. This negative change made me think of negative things related to it. My home that doesn't feel like home, my roommate who I feel secretly hates me, though I'm sure she doesn't, but I feel I'm being harshly judged behind my back. These thoughts led to similar thoughts about everyone I knew. Everyone hates me. All of these negative feelings and assumptions left me crippled. I hated myself. I still do.

Why am I telling you this?

 Because it needs to be said.

If you have ever gone through depression, if you are depressed right now, you can understand the importance to telling someone. Anyone. Don't get yourself to the point where you might do something drastic to get someone to see you or attempt to put it all to an end.  Tell someone.

I'm lucky I have a best friend I feel comfortable talking about this stuff with. When this happened I messaged her and told her everything, right down to my scary thoughts. Just telling her made me feel better. I still felt hopeless, but it felt good that someone knows what’s going on.

Years ago a friend called me after a nasty breakup telling me he wanted to kill himself. This friend had never called before. We always spoke through text, so the call itself told me something was up. It still sits with me. That call was scary. But I'm glad he did. I'm glad he trusted me enough to tell me. He's fine, by the way.

 I always remember that he called me.

If you've never been depressed, it's hard to imagine what those with depression go through. It's seems ridiculous. “You're unhappy? Do something about it.” It's not about finding what makes us unhappy and changing it. It's deep rooted. Even if my financial situation improves (and I think it will) it won't cure my depression. I always tell myself, “If I just do this, I'll be better.” But it doesn't work. So if you have a loved one come to you and tell you what they are feeling. Don't judge or offer opinions. All they want is someone to listen, for someone to know something is wrong, and to not feel alone.

Say something.

Listen.

There are other options available for anyone with depression or going through a rough time.

Call 1-800-273-TALK

Text 470-260-KOKO

Post anonymously at ok2talk.org

Screw New Year's Resolutions

2016 has been a real shit show.

            It didn’t start off bad. I lived in a nice house with a hot tub and bar and firepit and my own bathroom (granted I was with my dad and brother. But in this economy, who could blame me?), I got a good job that would open a door to the job I really wanted.

            In my experience, good things never last. The owner of the house decided he wanted to live in it again. He broke a verbal agreement with my dad to let him buy the house, and left us without a roof over our heads (Here’s a lessons kids; GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING!). Now my brother is living with his wife’s brother. My dad is in a tiny room in my aunt’s house. And my dog and I are in the basement of my friend’s house with her four children.

            My job isn’t bad, but it’s not enough. I can barely afford the very low rent my friend agreed to let me pay (a whopping 19.05% of the entire rent) as well as help with power and internet. The only bills I have that aren’t necessary come out to $30 (Netflix, Ipsy, and Spotify). I buy everything generic and ultimately unhealthy. Every two weeks I can count on my account being overdrawn.

            Suffice to say, I’ve been pretty depressed.

            Depressed.

            I don’t think I’ve ever used that word to describe me before. It sounds too…well, depressing. Who am I to say I’m depressed? “You’re not depressed. You’re just having a bad day.” Well, fuck! I wish this day would end already. I think that may be part of the problem with depression. People are afraid to talk about it. They’re afraid to tell anyone. Either they’re going to get attention they don’t want, or people are going to assume they’re only after attention. I’m not after attention (obviously, since I’m writing it in a public blog). I didn’t want anyone to know what was really going on. I didn’t want anyone to know just how truly miserable I am. I don’t want anyone trying to fix it.

            I think most of us have been there. Other people (namely our parents) trying to fix our problems. Offering us suggestions we don’t want to hear. We are inherently stubborn; ornery, as my uncle would happily put it.

            No one can fix me. Only I can fix me.

            So here I am, writing a blog that no one may ever read. But that’s okay. This is mostly for me. I’m going to be selfish. Stubborn, ornery, and selfish.

            We’re starting off fantastic!

            I’m going to get myself out of my depression. For anyone who stumbles across this blog, I do hope you get something from it. It would be wonderful to hear my selfishness helped someone else.

            How will I get myself out of my depression? Well, it will be a long process. I may dig myself deeper into this depression, but hopefully I will eventually get myself out and have this damn hole filled in for good.

            First thing’s first. Goals. Feel free to join me here.

            Step 1: Get a piece of paper.

            Step 2: You’ll need a pen. A marker will do. Even paint if you’re so inclined.

            Step 3: Write down goals. DO NOT CALL THEM NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS.

            Why not? New Year’s Resolutions suck! I’ve made them every year and you know how many I’ve actually accomplished? NONE! People forget about New Year’s Resolutions once the year is no longer new. You need goals. They can be goals that need to accomplish by the end of the year, or in 5. Make a goal that has to be done by next week. I don’t care. This is your list. Just don’t call them New Year’s Resolutions!

            Goals may vary. Here are mine... 

Goal 1: Get a job at Kootenai Health (our local hospital). Preferably before summer.

            This goal is key to accomplishing the following goals. There are a lot of benefits to working there that will not only help me financially, but physically too. Stay tuned, I’ll get into the specifics.

           

Goal 2: Reach 180lbs by the end of the year (get under 200 by July).

            I was once successful at this. In 2010 I reached 163lbs. That was about 75lbs lost. I had incentive, of course. My work was doing a biggest loser competition. I got 2^nd place and $300. I did this with nothing more than calorie counting, Jillian Michaels DVD’s, long walks, and bragging. Bragging really got me going. Joke’s on me though. A few of my friends found more success with weight loss (I’ll talk about them later, if they’ll let me).

ß2010 -- 2016à

            This really shouldn’t be too difficult. It’s sticking with it I find troublesome. Plus I have a problem with overeating. I can’t seem to stop myself. Even when I’m full I feel I need to keep eating to the point where I feel sick. It’s sick.

            Fortunately, the majority of my friends are wanting to achieve this same goal (maybe not specifically 180lbs, but you get it), so I have plenty of support.

            As for incentive? Nutrishop is doing “The New Year 6-Week Jump Start Challenge.”

            (https://www.facebook.com/events/1224361754299950/). It’s free to join and they have $1100 in prizes.

            My goal for this? 1^st place. I could use a spa day.
            It's not a lasting incentive, but it's a good start.

            How can KMC help with this? They offer a discount at Peak Health and Wellness (A gym with some pretty kick ass classes). Peak also does a Biggest Loser which I found some success with in the past (2nd to most weight lost, but got 5th place overall)

Goal 3: Save $1,000 by the end of the year

I saw something on Pinterest that made this sound pretty doable.

$1000 probably doesn’t sound like much. But as I mentioned earlier, I’m having trouble coming up with $200. So It’s a lot to me, but not so much that I’d be setting myself up for failure.

This goal isn’t about saving $1000 though. It’s about teaching myself to be smart with my money. I can never save. I always spend it. I’ve had a savings account for years that never has money in it. It’s a habit that needs some serious breaking.

           

Goal 4: Create a budget and stick to it.

            I recently went through my bank statement to see how much I was spending on food. Between November 27^th and December 27^th I’ve spent about $400 on food. I couldn’t believe it!

            I should point out that I am single with no kids. It explains why I’ve gained so much weight. But that is ridiculous! I set aside $50-$100 a check for food (depending on what I actually can afford). Where the hell did that money come from?? Regardless, I need to learn to budget.

Goal 5: Do at least one fun thing every month.

            My real goal here is to get out of the house. I’m pretty antisocial and it is not helping my depression.  What can these fun things be? Every summer I say I’m going to go ziplining and never actually do. This year I will. I could Kayak or paddleboard the Coeur D'Alene River. Maybe go parasailing again (when the sky isn’t blocked out by smoke from the numerous surrounding wildfires). Maybe just going out to the bar more often, or home parties (I’m all about game nights). Hell, even just going for a walk on Tubbs Hill with a friend. Whatever gets my ass out of the house and socializing, I’ll count it.

Goal 6: Finish an outline of my novel

            The one thing that makes me happy is writing. It’s why I think this blog is going to help me. But there’s also a novel I’ve been periodically working on for six years. I know with school and work It’s unrealistic to think I could finish a novel in a year, but I think I could at least finish an outline. I’ve done it before.

            Each of these goals is intended to help find my happy. I’m determined to get out of this funk. I’ve been in it for way too long. This year I turn 30 and I haven’t done a damn thing.

Oh geez, that hurts to say. 30!

It's time to start living. 

Screw 2016.

2017 is going to be my year. Just you wait and see. 

This blog will start on December 31st 2016

What can you look forward to?

In this blog I invite you to join me on a journey where I find my happiness. This isn't about doing activities I enjoy, but making changes that will ultimately make my life a happy one.
I will learn to manage my money, lose weight I have been struggling with for years AND KEEP IT OFF, get out of the house, and be more social.
My purpose for creating this blog is not only to give myself motivation, but hopefully inspire some readers as I slowly make a transformation. With any luck this blog will find success and I can create a group of support for myself and others.

So if you find life to be challenging, if you struggle with weight, or if you just can't seem to get it together, join me and let's see where life takes us.